I Could Care Less
by gaudy
Summary: It's a UC fic. Someone has trouble letting go.


Title: I Could Care Less  
Author: Gaudicia  
E-mail: secrets_of_the_sky@hotmail.com  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Roswell characters, nor the song. The song belongs to Victor Manuelle and for those of you interested in the title it's called, Me da lo mismo.  
Rating: PG-13  
Category: UC  
Summary: Read and find out.  
Distribution: Just ask.  
Author's note: I want to thank Kati(Katalina), Rainydayinapril(April) and CleopatraRoswellEmperass(Erin) for their help and encouragement!   
Author's note 1: My first UC, so any tips, suggestions are welcomed! Sorry, for the grammar mistakes!  
Feedback: It's always welcomed! Please tell me what you think!   
  
I Could Care Less  
  
Every time I go near her she evades me; she acts as if she doesn't know me. We have barley exchanged two words, since she left me without giving me a reason. I wonder if she has forgotten, but there are little things that tells me she hasn't, that her heart still recognizes me. But why do I care? What we had was just a fling, a one-time thing only, right? What we really enjoyed was the excitement of all the hiding, going around everyone's back; we didn't love each other, right? We agreed we wouldn't have any commitments, we both already had someone… So I could care less if she loves me, or if she hates me…  
---  
Me da lo mismo si me amas o me odias.  
Si al encontrarnos no recuerdas ni quien soy.  
Si al fin y al cabo más alla de la memoria nos queda algo que se llama corazón.  
---  
I know I did the right thing…I left him. Things were starting to get serious, what we had was just a game…at least for him. I was reckless--I fell in love. I never thought our little game would have such a high price. I guess I got consumed by him…I wondered when this stopped being a game, and I began to live for those nights where only the two of us existed. I was careless, I thought this wouldn't hurt me, I forgot we weren't only playing with our lives, I betrayed my friends… I've tried to stay away from him, I even try to not talk to him, but those few words we exchange I carve them in my memory for I know we'll never be together again…  
---  
I was walking down the street, and there she was kissing him, holding him like she was never going to let go. I stood paralyzed; I couldn't get myself to move or even walk away. I shouldn't have been surprise I knew she was his, I had known it before we had ever begun our little game, and I know it now. I remembered that in those nights we had spent together it was me she was kissing so passionately and holding so possessively, but that's over now…she ended it. Our eyes locked, but I just shrugged my shoulders. I finally get my feet's to work again and I walk away from them. I have someone, who loves me, so I could care less if she's with someone else or if someone else is kissing her.  
---  
Me da lo mismo si te besan en la boca.  
---  
I just got home from my date, we were saying good bye, we were kissing. I don't know when it started, but when he kisses me I have to imagine that it's 'him' kissing me, that it was 'him' that's touching me. While we were kissing I felt his presence, I opened my eyes and there he was just standing across the street…looking at us. Our eyes locked for a few seconds, he just shrugged his shoulders, and walked away. Doesn't he care? Did what we had meant nothing to him? I noticed that my date was looking questionably at me, it was my turn to shrug my shoulders and as I continued to kiss him, I continued to pretend.   
---  
We were at the Crashdown, all of us. It had become a habit for us to reunite, and talk about the things that were going on in our lives. I see her in his arms, and I wish she were in mine. I looked at my arms expecting to see them empty, but there's a girl in them, a girl who loves me, a girl who doesn't know the rat that I am, that doesn't know about my betrayal. I heard him, the one that has taken her away from me, asking her on a date, and I listened as she accepts. I see that when she answers she glances in my direction and I immediately mask my feelings, which wasn't so hard, that's what my life has been based on…hiding my feelings. I know that I gave the impression I didn't care, like I could care less if she went out with him, but that's what I wanted. I want her to think that, I don't know why, so I turn my attention back to the girls that's in my arms, and I pretend she's my dark haired goddess. I know my actions shouts that and I know she has received my message.  
---  
O si alguien más te invita un sábado a cenar.  
---  
He's there with her in his arms, what wouldn't I give to be there instead of her, but like a good girl I stay in my place, pretending…always pretending. The only time I didn't pretend was when I was with him. I couldn't help but steal glances at him when someone wasn't looking. I was the one that had put an end to it. I still question myself, if it would have been better to keep on with the lie-with the façade. I hear someone asking someone on a date and I realize it's me they are talking to, I register what he says to me, and I'm left with no option, but to accept. I can't decline for I know I own him so much more…I have already betrayed him, and now I'm paying for it. I look over at the boy-man that has capture my heart without him even knowing it, I was expecting some kind of reaction for him to shout that he loves me, I was waiting for him to do something, but he didn't. Doesn't he care? I saw him turn his attention back to the girl that I envied so much, and I knew my answer…he didn't. But I couldn't help…but still wonder.   
---  
A week has passed by and we are still in the same game. Is that what we had? Is this what we'll always have? Will our lives always be about playing a game? I'm getting used to it now, but it's not any less painful.   
---  
Me da lo mismo, me da igual.  
Ya no me importa porque you sé que siempre he sido tu verdad.  
---  
It's ironic how every time I see her some thing is happening, he is showering her with roses this time, I never did that, now I can tell I should have. It's too late now, she has made her decision and I have made mine. I found out that he made it his business to leave her roses every day at her door…something I would never do. Yet again our eyes lock, and again I act if I could care less.   
---  
Me da lo mismo me.  
Si llegan rosas a tu puerta cada tarde.  
---  
Every time I hear someone knock on my door, I run to see who it is. When I get there roses immediately obstruct my view. I don't need to see who it is anymore, I already know, it's the man I own my life too, yet I can't bring myself to love him. I must be blind here is a man who is the sweetest, always going out of his way to please me, yet I don't want him. The man I love never brought me roses; he never showed me he loved; yet I love him. I see him again, our eyes locks, and again he acts as if he doesn't care, and every time my heart is ripped a part. I know he loves me…I just want him to say it to me, at least just once.  
---  
I'm working today. I hear her talking, and I can't help but to listen in on her conversation. I hear someone ask her how she is, why she's so sad, she answers it's nothing, that no one is responsible for how she is, I hear her give in and tell it was someone, but that now it doesn't matter, that it's over. She tells it in a way that doesn't give anything away, but I know the meaning behind it, and it hurts me to hear that she has denied me…but I have gotten so good at it, that again I act as if I could care less.  
---  
Si a todos dices que en tu vida no fuid nadie.  
Me da…me da lo mismo  
---  
I'm talking with her, pretending every thing is still okay. I listen to her complain about her boyfriend and all I want to do is scream. I want to tell her that she's lucky to have him that I want him, yet the world brings us…my stubbornness apart…my stubbornness-bring us apart, my reluctance to be with a man, who can't tell me he loves me. I hear her asking why I'm so sad, and I want to shout that I'm sad, because I'm not with the man I love. She thinks my boyfriend has done something to me and I tell her that it's nothing, that it's one of those days where nothing seems right. I tell her again that he doesn't mean anything to me any more, she believes it's my boyfriend I'm talking about, but I'm talking about the man I love, the man I wish to forget, for nothing but pain can be brought out of it.  
  
I'm finally alone, and even if it's for a few minutes, I can stop pretending. He consumes my thoughts. I remember every detail of the time we spent together, of those nights when we escaped together not caring what the consequences of our actions would be. I have memorized how his hands felt and how his kisses tasted, I guess that's why I have been able to pretend so well, for all I have to do is think of those feelings I have carved deep within my soul. When our path cross I try to pretend I don't care…that I could care less, but I do care and I know he knows, for I can never pretend with him. I'm finally able to fall into a deep slumber, and there he is with me.  
---  
Porqué yo sé que muy adentro en tu memoria cuando estés sola  
y repases bien la historia a ti cariño de mi vida,  
yo lo se,  
no te da lo mismo.  
---  
I see her walking down the street her boyfriend besides her, displaying him, wanting people to know that she is not alone, that she is loved. She seems to be happy, but I know it's all an act, her eyes tell me so much. He doesn't know her like I do, he never will. He'll never have her love, and even if she is with him, she'll always be mine.   
---  
Me da lo mismo,  
Si te veo acompañada haciendo alarde que tienes otro amor.  
---  
This is was my life has turn out to be a lie. When I was younger I used to pretend I was a princess waiting for my prince to come, now I want to stop pretending, but I can't now I have to keep living like this. To everyone I'm the lucky, happiest girl there is, I have everyone fooled, I know he knows. He knows me better than anyone. I'm always displaying my boyfriend, I want to get a reaction out of him but I'm never successful. I guess I also want to believe what everyone believes, I want to believe I'm happy when I'm not. I look at the man besides me and I know I'll never be able to love him like he disserves…my body may appear to be his, but my soul and heart will to another…  
---  
I'm outside her window, I don't care that it's raining, I have to see her if only from afar. She is soaking wet, she is looking at the stars a sad expression on her face, and I can't help but wish I could comfort her…but what we had can never be again.  
---  
A mí me basta con saber que siempre he sido dueño absoluto de su corazón.  
---  
It's raining, I don't care if I get wet…I'm thinking about him again, that's nothing new. I'm looking at the stars…they have always remind me about him. They make me feel as if I'm closer to him. I know his there-watching me. I made my decision and let him know I knew he was there. We just stood watching each other for what seem like an eternity, I forgot about everyone and everything, only the two of us existed and I could help the whisper that escaped my lips. "I love you…Michael." Like in a fairy tale I expected him to climb up the stairs and wrapped me in his arms but instead he walked away. I understood that this was how it was supposed to be, so I crumbled in the floor and wept.  
---  
I saw her, she was telling me she knew I was there, I couldn't help but search for her eyes. When our eyes locked, I knew I was home. I didn't need to hear her to know what she said, she said, she loved me, I couldn't help but whisper back. "I love you too, Liz." I knew she didn't see me or even heard me for I already had my back and I was already walking away… This was our good bye…what we had can never be again, and I cried all the way to my apart me. I know this won't be the last time I will cry, and I also know that we'll never be the same again…  
  
The end!  



End file.
